my school has this fb page where students can sell their old stuff and i’ve been laughing at this girl’s post for 85 years
We’ve officially reached that annoying time of year where it’s sweater weather in the morning, but by midday you die from a heatstroke.
you want a hot body?
you want a bugatti??
you want a maserati???
I can’t wait to get married because its like a sleepover every night with your best friend.
That’s the cutest description of marriage I’m not even joking
It’s better than ‘betting someone half your stuff that you’ll love them forever’
why do greek gods have to fuck up so much shit god damn just stay on your mountain and eat your fucking ambrosia and leave people alone
and stop having sex with things you are not supposed to have sex with
we’re all looking at you here zeus
Too bad Zeus didn’t think to invent condoms. Shoulda asked the Trojans.
Loyalty and orgasms are all I really want in a relationship